I spent a good amount of weeks (months?) looking for a dead bird to put in my box. Ended up with offers on dead mice, rats, and snakes... and found out that it's illegal to possess a dead bird. Ultimately, I couldn't find a bird and bought feathers to put in the box. I think the feathers worked better.
I guess this post is me wondering at the way things turn out. And wondering at being conceptual.
In painting especially, I don't think of an end result. If it's from life I obviously have expectations of what I think the painting should end up as, but I still never really know what's going to come out. When I'm done with the painting I'm always surprised. And painting non-representationally is even more surprising when I'm done. I never know where I'm going, I let the paint lead me more than I lead the paint.
It's kind of like working through a problem to find the solution. Which is not how I would go about 3d art like the box of feathers. I can visualize an end result and then somehow have to work backwards from that to end up with what I want.
And where does having a concept come into any of this...? I guess I don't know. I think I produce loaded pieces without realizing it. People talk about my concepts and ideas and what my art means, and I don't have answers if they ask me questions. I don't know what my art means. I don't know that it matters. It doesn't to me. There is just a force pushing me to do whatever it is I do.
Apparently that's not enough though for everyone else.
I guess what I really need to know is if it will help me or hurt me to try to have specific, concrete ideas. Because I always have ideas, they're just a little floaty and fuzzy and I kind of like them that way. Is that bad? Does this mean I'm lacking something as an artist?