In photography today, I did a presentation on Sally Gall. Her photography is less important to me than what the article I read about her made me realize about myself.
Gall is, just like me, very hesitant to describe to others what the concept of her work is. I used to describe this as a problem. I regarded it as something I wanted to fix. Now I understand that it really isn't a problem, but a conscience decision I have made as an artist. Gradually, I am coming to terms with this decision. Once again, this becomes an issue in academic studio. During critique, I am expected, to some extent, talk about my art. Because of my fear of talking about (and therefore demystifying) my concepts, I sometimes hesitate to let free what I am trying to conceptualize. This interferes very negatively with my creative process.
Sometimes, I know that a strong concept exists but that does not necessarily mean I know any more about my concept than a viewer... There isn't always something to talk about.
My paintings have become a very exhausting, emotional, and slow journey of some sort of self-discovery. I wish I could be more sure of what I was discovering. I guess that question hanging in the air is what keeps me moving moving painting thinking. I am curious by nature, as are most artists. I need this curiosity to be sated or I will have no reason to be outside of square. Instead of move think paint, I would be reduced to move think about boys. Which. Yeah.